Thoughts: October 16, 2022

I have no idea what to write, but maybe that’s the point. I suppose that when Ann Handley or some other ‘guru’ sits down to write, they have a master plan.

But, if the point of writing every day is simply to write, then it’s important to do that. And only that.

It seems like the quickest way to get quicker at writing and considering your biggest ideas is to PRACTICE the art of writing. Every day.

And yet, one of my biggest struggles is with the art of practice. Whether it’s an instrument or writing or developing a solid pattern of behavior, I struggle to find that consistent groove without becoming bored of the process, even though I know the process is in fact the point.

I love the mornings. I can see the sun rise today. And I wonder how much longer I will be able to see the sun in the morning.

Despite having such a lovely and prolonged summer, the time is nearing like an oppressive weight upon my chest as I can see the rains on the forecast.

Not even the grace of a cooler, crisper, slow decent into fall. Instead it will come as a crushing blow in 4 days with no apparent end in site. Although my rational side knows we need the rain desperately, it doesn’t change the distain I have for the clouds that rest over Portland from mid-October to early July.

It seems unfair to live in a place so dark.

I could bear it when Portland was a fun place to be. When there were more events, less crime, maybe it was the lightness of youth or perhaps ignorance that the issues of today didn’t bother me so much yesterday.

Although I must admit my anxiety was out of control in my youth and my concerns were turned in all different directions. Today I will be grateful for today. The present moment is where we are. It doesn’t matter what yesterday brought or what tomorrow may bring.

We live for today.

Why is it so easy to drift into the other states of being?

Those beloved memories of yesteryear which we know we are viewing with rose colored glasses.

Or the possibilities of an as-yet untested and unknown future that are but unrealized beloved memories? Because today is the struggle.

Today is the work. Today is where we build those futures we long to see. And despite that knowing, that knowledge it’s a constant struggle to be here. To reside in my body. To experience TODAY.

And not get caught up in the broader struggles. To allow a day, week, month or year to devolve into so many things that simply don’t matter.

What is focus, then, but the practice of being in the present time and making a choice to be experiencing it in the way you WANT?

It’s more than that.

It’s about experiencing the here and now in the belief that you’re making the best, right choices today that will create and define your future without getting caught up in the future or the past for that you do not control.

It’s about realizing there is so much you don’t control and that doesn’t matter (really) that you develop resistance to the distractions you have no control over. Current events, natural disaster, … But there is plenty you do control for time is moving whether you’re an active participant in your life.

Or not.

So it’s best to be part of the conversation.

Not any conversation, the conversations that shape who and what we are.

Where we’re going.

Goals we strive for, yes, but also the experiences, the life we want in our present.

The sun will shine today and if you love the sun, be in it.

We know we can’t be in it all the time, but we can make choices to be who we are and where we want to be even if it’s but for a few fleeting moments.

Even if you’re balancing an unending stack of responsibilities, give yourself the grace of a few moments to be.

Rest. Find the calm. When we find ourselves saying we can’t do something, lean into it.

Is that true? Can we not find a bit of grace?

The constant bombardment of distractions, distractions that can be alleviated by removing an app or placing the phone in another room, or turning off the TV…. those numbing agents that keep us from who we are, what we want, and from seeing and experiencing our truth.

That’s what separates us from greatness. When we find the strength to do and be what we most desire despite what society tells us, or the latest trends we find the power within us to handle the voices within ourselves that hold us back.

It’s the cacophony of louder and louder distractions that prevent personal thought, warp our outlook, and leave us too exhausted to handle the most important space of all, the space between our ears.

Thanks for reading. 💚